Monday, April 13, 2009
The Zen of The Return
I have been the receiver of a lot of shite I don't need, and I am grateful for that. They're gifts after all and I love free stuff. I say yes to almost everything offered me. And I ask for what I need. I'm not a buyer, I'm just not. Here and there sure, but I'm off the grid. Even in flush times I'm just not a buyer. I want to start being a buyer. I am ready to buy my own block of cheese.
In the past I just took what came to me. Sure minor infractions on the road and I'd be screaming out my window, but cold coffee and a hair in my eggs and I'd say nothing. Pants mis-marked, now culottes I'll never wear? I'd just put them on the shelf for a few years til I got to giving them to Goodwill. Never The Salvation Army, always Goodwill, but I digress.
I've spent a lot of years wearing short pants and eating a shitty breakfast. Today it stops! MY PANTS ARE TOO SHORT, MY COFFEE IS COLD AND I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE.
I deserve long pants! I deserve hairless eggs and hot, but not too hot, coffee. I am asking for what I want now. And not just at Burger King, everywhere. Mostly I am asking it of myself.
Time to return some habits that no longer serve me. Time to return my sloth for some commitment. Definitely need to return a lot of old beliefs for some new ones. My goals? Too short, gotta return them for an upgrade. My ego? Way too big, a bit of love fits perfectly. My insanity? Nope that fits fine.
Now comes the next step. Figuring out what exactly I want. Gulp..... Tonight I want the days last cigarette, a few pages from my book and some sound sleep. Okay a couple of more hacks off leftover birthday cake, then the smoke and bed. Possibly two smokes, the cake and bed.....
So far so good.