Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Excuses, Magic Men and Holiday Gift Ideas!

My apologies for not being around for a bit, I've been busy. Which is just a lame excuse. I hate excuses, which goes brilliantly with my own self-loathing. So I thought I'd write this morning, even though I've not much to say, but at least I'm not making excuses.

I'm finding that it's harder and harder to come up with excuses to not take action. Reasons are a different story, reasons are really really good excuses. I love that old expression excuses are like assholes, everyone’s got one. And it's true I do have an asshole, who I will introduce later in this post, and I could come up with excuses for all the things I haven't done in my life. Like why I've not posted in a bit -- for sake of word count to fill up the page a bit this morning I'll give it a whirl.

I worked all last week, early mornings, days filled with the glitz and glamour of Hollywood. Then I had Wizard School this weekend where I took another step toward getting my broom and my wand. After all that, I had to get up even earlier on Monday to go finish up last week's job. Yesterday was out of the question, I mean I couldn't write yesterday. It was my first day off and a quite some time and I had to do laundry and clean up my apartment and go for coffee and read a book and blah blah blah, blah (word count increasing) blah, blah, blah..........

Lame excuses. I am guessing, but I would bet that all those excuses, however feebly I tried to sell them were just a healthy dose of resistance. Again I am learning and this is all just practice, so today I am learning that lame excuses just aren't really sitting anymore. It feels good. Like I wrote before, if this a worthwhile post, an insightful funny post I wrote it, if not God did it.

In the past the excuses were much more infused with life, they were my life. My life was too hard to live. You wouldn't understand because my pain was so much greater than yours. My leaden cross was so much heavier that your cross. Back then when I actually believed the press I was feeding my brain, those weren't excuses, they were my reality. In hindsight they were excuses for not giving myself my life, I just didn't know any better. Or I was too deep in the misery to believe any other options. Thankfully those days are fewer and fewer, I just really got sick and tired of playing the old tape. Fuck excuses, lay the cards on the table and see what happens.

I woke up this morning wanting to write and attempted to keep myself from doing so. I came up with a few halfhearted excuses. The bed being warm and toasty was a good one. I had nothing to write about another good one, and by where this is going a valid one. But the reality is I have made commitments to myself (and to you) that I want to keep. And for better or worse one of those commitments was posting here twice a week. Sure I want to post things that I think are funny and maybe a little insightful, but that wasn't one of the requirements I set up for myself. Those are just excuses to not write and not post and I am learning here.

Another nickel excuse for not posting is that the home offices of BS is going through some restructuring. I noticed that there was some ooey gooey guy showing up at the meetings. Peace and Love are great, but come on buddy, that's not what we are preaching. Save the sugar coating for the Willy Wonkians over at souldiving. This is Bitter Spiritualist, not The Pollyanna Press. Fists flew, noses bled, feelings hurt, and most importantly, I got what I wanted.

So with the corporate restructuring I have to introduce a new member of team Bitter Spiritualist this morning, Magic Man. In addition to being my bloodied cowering colleague here at BS he also goes to Wizard School with me. His thoughts were finding there way into my posts and quite frankly I found him stifling. Always giving me reasons why I should be a little less bitter and a little more loving. He was trying to take away my edge, hiding out and using me as his mouth piece. Hey Fuckhead this is my blog and my words not yours. Save the love talk for the dial-a-date scene amigo. I must confess, it's been a bit confusing around here. I've never had employees I had to work with. And they all have their own agenda. His is a great one, similar to mine coincidentally, but I was finding his voice a little too lovely dovey. So I figured if I gave him a little press I'd pacify the pacifist and could get on with my own writing.

Outing the Magic Man also gives me a chance to acknowledge a great friend of BS who named him and also gives you, my loyal masses, a great holiday gift idea. One day he started calling my colleague Magic Man and it stuck. This was even before he started going to Wizard School! A swarmy dapper Mediterranean-type fellow I have known for twenty plus years. His name, Ozio. Only a true Italian could get three vowels into a four letter name. His company, Sweatsedo, sells quality velour track suits, stylish and oh so comfortable. I'm wearing one of their jackets now, so if you want to dress like your idol, check out Ozio and his wares at These are his last weeks here in Los Angeles before he leaves us for a new adventure in the mountains. He will be missed, and not just because of his brilliant cooking skills, mostly. Another BS staff member, Avid Outdoorsman, is very excited that he will get to visit him in the North Country. I personally will miss him heaps and also have a sense of dread. Avid Outdoorsman will indubitably drag my ass up there to the mountains with him. Oh wow trees! And mountains! And a lake! Luckily I can chose to see none of that from a barstool with a Guinness in front of me. Nature, it's overrated. Hey that could be a new slogan here at BS, but probably not, Avid can get a little vocal if we start picking on Mother Earth.

So the excuses were invalid and I woke up and wrote and it worked. Sure I can see that I didn't write about much - it wasn't meaningful, but then again meaning is all subjective - but I did kick that excuse to the curb and did it anyway. Magic Man is chirping up that we did it, that we met our commitment to ourselves and got an opportunity to do some work and share, but I am going to punch him in the chin once I stop typing. Ooey gooey this motherfucker. But begrudgingly, I must admit he is on to something, so I am chipping away at the excuses and doing what I set out to do. Fuck it's not like my other posts were Shakespeare. Fuck Shakespeare, that English prick.

I am in the process of clarify the staffing here at the home office, so if you are confused, not too worry, you're not as confused as I. It's off to a board meeting for me where I have to listen to the blathering, I mean input, of my co-workers. In the mean time check out Sweatsedo, tell him Magic Man sent you. It won't get you a discount, but I bet you it gets you a laugh.

Love, Light and Laughs,


  1. Very nice rant. Here's a challenge... have you seen Julia and Julie or whatever? Why not try a challenge...? I'd like to see it!

  2. I am right there with you. It keeps coming up. So my challenge....hmmmmmm. Thanks for the input, it warms me heart. Now to come up with the challenge. What to do? What does it look like? What actions do I take? So many fun questions to look at and come up with a fun entertaining uplifting challenge. I'm excited!