Wednesday, April 28, 2010


Greetings from Shangri La -

I've been scuffing my feet on the floor, not writing to you all in the past few weeks. For that I apologize.

This has been a bit of a zany time for me, lots of learning, lots of avoiding, just lots..... At times I've literally been pulling the covers over my head and hiding out. And I've been okay with that. More and more I am trusting my process, trusting that I have where I am is where I am supposed to be. It came to me in one of those moments of crystal clear knowing - The Aha Moment.

I am not anyone else but me. Can't even begin to be someone else, so why not make strides to be good at who I am. I'm not sure who this person is, but I'm okay with that. In fact that is exactly part of who I am, someone who is not sure, who looks deeply. Aha!

In the past I'd been spending a great deal of time and energy beating myself up for not knowing exactly who I am. Exactly why I am here or what I want. Who's voice was it I began to wonder. Who was beating me up for not knowing, for not having it all figured out. And what was that voice doing to help figure it out.

The voice was clearly my own. What it was doing to help? Well it got me to the point where I didn't want to listen to it anymore. So I stopped. Aha! And when I take that pressure off, things just start to bubble inside. Aha!

I've spent my whole life trying to be somebody else. Maybe not somebody else, but a shiner version of me. I want to stop that. I am in the process of stopping that. Starting to love the journey, not waiting to get to some destination then let the loving begin.

Per usual I'm not making any sense today, but I can love that I've made another attempt at moving forward, taken some action and given myself another Aha opportunity.

Life is all Aha moments, is it not? I'd been waiting around til I had it all figured out, then it dawned on me. The day I have it all figured it out is more than likely the day I leave this planet. So why am I waiting around? Well I could give a heap of reasons, but let's just call it fear. I'm starting to really enjoy life in Aha mode. Steps big and small that make me go Aha, there's another key, there's another piece to the puzzle, there is something I didn't know and it is furthering me along the path.

It's been fun. It's been frustrating. It's been life. Beautiful magical life.

I'd not posted in a bit and then kept myself from posting this week because I wanted it to be deep, and meaningful, and shiny. Well this is none of the above. It's me, figuring things out. It's what BS started out as and will continue to be. The ramblings of a madman. Now a madman with more Aha's!

So posting today was an Aha! I'll call it a win even.

Love, Light, Laughs and Ahas,

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