Thursday, March 25, 2010

Choices or Step Back and Let Me Kiss Myself

Greetings From The Asylum -

I'm at a loss today what to write about. I was going to opine about the brilliance of Gratitude in my life, then I checked and damned if I've not written ad nauseum about Gratitude. It's a good one, I'll grant you that, but I wanted to be fresh and original. So I'm going to write about choices, yes it's my choice to write about choices.

Every morning I wake up and I have a choice, a series of choices really, but the day starts with one. Am I going to surrender to the moment, look at the world through the eyes of love and be grateful for this day. Or am I not. Some days it's easier than others. Some days I wake up, my neck is sore, my bills aren't paid, the dog needs to go out, the apartment is a mess, nobody loves me, God is picking on me. Ahhh those days are grand, because it makes my choice that much easier. Am I going to chose to be in my head and out of my heart? Am I going to chose to be a miserable cunt or am I going to chose to be free to discover what each moment brings me?

More and more I am choosing to be in my heart, in my loving, in a place of wonder and surprise for the next moment. Not worried about the future or the past, simply focused on the here and now. I can hear you now, my loyal readers, saying it's easy for you but you don't know what I'm going through, how hard my life is. Okay maybe it's me trying to con me and now you guys.I hear you, sure I don't know what you are going through, nor do I know how hard your life is. Yet what I do know is that every moment is a choice. It's that simple, and that difficult.

Now you might be asking yourself by this point, what is this feller trying to say today. Well I'm not sure, and that's the point. I chose to get myself up and out and do a little writing today, and I thought I would start my writing by writing to you. You guys inspire me. I inspire me. So to finish off my little rambling this morning I'm going to share with you a tip someone gave me to quell the voices, a tip to make love the easier choice today and everyday.

Tell yourself you love yourself. Yes this comes easy to some, but it did not to me. As much as I ramble on here about how great I am, I've had this block about the simple act of telling myself I love me. It was work, but it was a job worth doing. Now when the voices of doubt, of fear, in whatever form they show up in start to murmur I simply stop and say "I love you Bitter" "Bitter I love you" And I repeat those words, sometimes even holding myself. "I love you Bitter" "Bitter I love you". Yes I know how foolish this seems, I know how self indulgently narcissistic it can appear, but why not. Why not remind myself that I am love and loved? Why not? Give me one good reason why not? Hey I can give you a hundred funny reasons not to, but not one good reason why I shouldn't.

And you know what? It's working. I find myself making more loving choices, more self honoring choices. And it's so simple, one you get over the comedic aspect of it and the "oh my god am I really that full of myself" aspect, it's easy.

So thanks for reading today, pointlessly pointed this morning. But I chose to write. And I chose to love myself. And those aren't bad choices to start the day. So give it a try. Tell yourself you love yourself. Do it often. And chose to be in the moment, chose to be who you are and love who you are. I know I love you, yes even you, you know, the really unlovable reader. Because you aren't really unlovable. Stop telling yourself that fable, and start telling yourself the truth. You are love and lovable.

I'm off (my rocker and this post).

Bitter I love you. I love you Bitter.

Love, Light, and Laughs

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